My Woman Self

>>Work in progress<<

I wear dresses, skirts, heels. I do my make-up almost every single day. I blow dry and straighten my hair while ensuring I am using the latest products to make it shine. I cross my legs and paint my nails and we all know I know each line in every Broadway musical.

I speak up. I refuse to be interrupted. Getting married and having kids is not my supreme purpose and I don't even know if it is in my future. I burp and I play video games. I mix a mean Mojito and I have tattooed my body with reminders of my cause. 

I am loud. My laugh and voice fill the air in any room and I'm not talented at being quiet. I have a lot of energy and will always greet people with a large smile and with lasers of positivity. 

I've been told I shouldn't speak up as much, shouldn't be as confident and should be more like a girl. I've been told if a man interrupts me while I speak I shouldn't get upset and I should just lay low. I've been told this is what girls are supposed to do. I've been led to believe that my dresses and skirts aren't short enough, my make-up isn't sexy enough and I should somehow accentuate and hide my chest simultaneously. I've been called honey and sugar by men I do not know. I've rushed to my vehicle at night fearing the worst. I've been made into an object opposed to viewed as an individual. I've been in a meetings where I was expected to take notes and not be heard. I've been called bitch because I wouldn't say yes. I've browsed magazines wishing I were more, then become angry at myself for ever thinking I was less.

I am a strong woman. I know that has prevented me from being in some relationships. I've been told my identifying as a feminist scared him, and he wasn't sure how to believe in anything egalitarian. I've been told I need to get married to a rich man and I am already late in doing so. As a woman I have consistently been asked if I have kids before being asked anything else about my life. 

While I express my gender in often "correct" ways, I also am aware enough to know why I do so. And how that is okay. That's one choice society can't take away from me (presumably so).