Monday, July 7, 2014

Naked & Afraid...and some Ed Sheeran

"Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive.
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Our hearts were never broken
Where our eyes are never closing.
And time's forever frozen still."
-Ed Sheeran, Photograph

Oh Ed. You clever man. I adore you, the new album and this song.
_______________________________________________________________________

Here's a little something:

In the midst of thunderstorms and pine trees my tranquil moments were disrupted by lines of sexism. 

One of my new favorite shows is Naked and Afraid. Yeah. I know. But it snaps you up in its survival lessons, outdoor-guru-ness and awkward bug bites in places there shouldn't be bug bites. I had to find something to temporarily replace Game of Thrones.

OK, so basically, one man...one woman...naked (and presumably afraid) in the middle of a swamp/jungle/etc try to survive for 21 days with nothing but one item they were able to bring from home (typically a knife or fire starter). After the awkward encounter of initially seeing their bare partner wraps up they get to work on figuring out how to build a shelter, find a water source and find food. 

While tuning in on Sunday I was quickly reminded that any interaction with the world typically involves some instance of covert or overt sexism/racism/homophobia/insert-any -ism-here.

So there went my inner peace and in came my frustration, anger and audible "ugh".

Incident #1: This guy upset me immediately as his intro was like an ode to killing animals. He presented as barbaric and enjoyed slaughtering animals way too much. But it was his interaction with his female partner that showed his true colors. It began when she used her own knife to capture and kill a snake. While preparing to cook the snake he told her "you know what, I am going to let you cut the snake to cook it". She responded sarcastically with "oh wow, you're going to let me cut the snake with my knife that I caught and killed with my own knife." Then it cut to him rolling his eyes and telling the camera how much he hates feminists.

Excuse me, what?

He then decided to not listen to her when she said the snake was done cooking and continued to cook the food until it was eventually ruined.

While I definitely despise him for this entire episode, I know I need to take a step back and remind myself that this is a societal norm....a system. It isn't this one guy, it is every guy and how they've been socialized to believe they are in the right and women are not to be listened to/trusted. 

Incident #2: This episode featured a kick-ass woman who knew her stuff. She is a survivalist to the extreme. She was making clothes out of the foliage on the island (to protect themselves from the sun), supplied a water source and temporary food source and built a shelter all while her male partner was incapable of contributing due to a sunburn. He remained in the trees barely able to move but made sure his complaints were heard regarding his opinions on the work she had completed for them both. He mocked her, was extremely condescending and put her down for her decision making. When she asked what survival skills he has he responded with "none, I'm a city boy" while she had grown up in the wilderness and spent her entire life experiencing various cultures and living off the land. 

His lack of trust and non-existent support toward his partner actually made me laugh. Solely because I just cannot comprehend how so many people believe we are good to go...equal...free...fair as a society. I laugh as a defense mechanism to the extreme sadness I feel for this reality. I laugh as it helps ease the insanity that is this cyclical cyclone aimed at the destruction and lowering of females.

I can't go a day without feeling oppressed as a woman. I hear stories all day from friends or see scenes of inequity while at Starbucks or Target. It is everywhere. We cannot escape it. 

The benefit to this show is I hope viewers are seeing how incredible the women are. They are capable and extremely skilled in survival and it makes me happy to watch that. It is empowering to watch them build a fire, walk through snake-filled swamps and endure the elements. 

So I leave you with a quote I recently encountered: 

"Some days you have to create your own sunshine."



Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Future: I Have No Answers

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier." - Mother Teresa

This is me. Or I try for it to be. I try to translate this into my work, personal life, friendships and even with the love I give my dogs.

Working with students involves an endless stream of career-related conversations. Helping them process through the swamp of decision-making and guiding them through yellow-brick roads heading toward more resources. Nothing beats seeing bright shiny teeth enter my office in excitement for an acceptance to graduate school or an offer to work for an organization they love. When you get the chance to help these wonderful people connect with what they love you can't help but feel incredible joy and empowerment.

And then the brain gets ticking...

What about me? What about my life? Am I doing all I can be doing? What about the array of interests currently collecting dust? Am I meeting my potential? Is this it? What am I doing...like, for real?

My new realization I often share with students is this: No one really knows what they want to do. We are all undecided majors. Those with careers are doing one thing they enjoy (or just paying the bills), however there are likely 10 other things they would want to pursue.

So how do I continue my commitment to the above quote while still connecting with as many interests I find myself drawn toward? No idea. 

Official list of things I want to do or be apart of (more things likely to be added):
-new student orientation
-run a GLBT Resource Center at a university
-Broadway musical star (Elphaba--let me be you)
-marketing for a university
-FBI: Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds tells me this is real)
-run a bed & breakfast
-marketing for a large company (Google...please tell me you are you reading this)
-student organization advising
-cupcakery
-food truck
-retire before I'm 30 and travel (maybe there are sponsors for this)
-social justice consulting
-get an MBA
-run a Women's Resource Center at a university
-leadership development
-be paid to give the Inclusive Language Workshop all day every day
-catering
-graphic design
-Semester at Sea
-event coordinator

Now that it is all written down opposed to boiling my brain I feel....overwhelmed, lost and maybe even more terrified.

I love working with students. It is inspirational, fun and I feel lucky to be able to have built such amazing relationships with so many of them. I'm good at it. It is fulfilling and I couldn't imagine moving away from it. But to deny myself the joys of experiencing something else on the list above seems unfair.

I've watched too many TedTalks and motivational speakers who have shared the importance of living with no regrets. The RENT Original Broadway musical has been blasted too many times in my car to ignore their cries "No other road, no other way, no day but today".

I seek no answer from posting this. But writing it down feels nice. My chat with Yolanda tonight, per the usual, has motivated me to never stop challenging myself and to never lose sight of my mission to contribute to a more equitable world.

So that's that for now.